Falling Into You
by fadedglass
Summary: In the light of Will's confession, will Emma finally learn to forgive and realise that their relationship is worth fighting for? Rating now moved down to T with some chapters M - I want to focus more on Will comforting Emma for the time being .
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic ever so I apologise if it isn't very good but if you could let me know what you think that would be great! I already have a second chapter planned out so if you think I should continue, let me know! Thanks! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

**Chapter 1 **

**Will's POV **

I couldn't sleep. The mid-June heat wave had prevented me from doing so these past few nights and I was beginning to grow frustrated as I tossed and turned, trying to find a part of the bed that had yet to be consumed by the heat radiating from my body. I eventually slid out of bed and headed towards the kitchen in hope that a glass of water would be able to satisfy. I rubbed my brow in frustration as I drank, the water doing little to cool me. I made my way to the couch that was situated to the side of the living room and plonked myself down, my hands resting just behind my head, my feet crossing at the ankles at the other end of the couch. I shut my eyes, trying my best not to think about the real reason I was still awake.

'_I'm seeing someone'_.

Those three words continued to scorch my brain, repeating over and over again in my mind until it hurt to breath.

_He had headed to her office that day looking guidance, nothing more. Now that Sue had revealed she was on the panel of judges for the weekend's upcoming Regional's competition he was at a loss of what to do. The kids had all but given up, even Rachel, who was usually full of optimism and encouragement sat there on his sofa, surrounded by her fellow glee club members and sobbed. His heart was breaking for them and the only person he could think of that could help was her. It was tense and awkward at first, both of them having avoided each other over the past couple of weeks. He stood there, listening to her advice on how it wasn't all about winning but about the enjoyment and the satisfaction of doing something that you loved. He had stood there, marvelling at how someone could be so beautiful, both on the inside and the out. Letting a smile creep upon his mouth he let the words spill out without a second thought, letting her know how much he had missed her. And that's when her revelation spilled out to. _

She was seeing her dentist, this Carl Howell. I immediately hated him. He was probably a good guy; sweet, charming, intelligent, and most importantly for Emma; clean. But I still hated him. He had exactly what I wanted all because I was too much of a coward to let Emma know how I truly felt that night she had told me she was a virgin. Instead I took the easy way out, finding myself on the same couch she had told me, making out with another woman. Boy had I messed up. My heart was now aching with the thought of Emma with another man. Was this how she felt when she learnt of my indiscretions with Shelby and April? Heartbroken? Devastated?

I turned onto my side, wrapping my arms around a cushion that had been haphazardly thrown onto the couch previously that evening. I clutched it close, wishing it was her that my arms draped around instead of a random cushion. I breathed in its smell; it smelt like warm popcorn mixed in with the musky aroma of my aftershave. I brought the pillow to my nose, fully inhaling its fragrance, blocking out the pain I was feeling right now. I longed for it to be her fragrance I smelt, the one of lavender shampoo and a sweet, almost flowery scent her perfume left whenever she was around.

I loved her, had done longer than I cared to admit. I loved her soul, her beauty, her gorgeous red hair and her little quirks. I remember once telling Rachel that the things you hate the most about yourself would be the things that that one person will love the most about you and I believed every word of it. Emma believed her mysophobia made her 'crazy' and most people jumped on the same bandwagon, labelling her as 'mentally insane' or treating it as a thing to be 'put up with' not to be cherished, but to me it made her even more special. Towards the end of my marriage it was Emma that constantly played on my mind, not the woman who I had spent half my life with. I felt guilty for having feelings for another outside of my marriage but I couldn't help it. She was so different from Terri; passionate, understanding. She had encouraged me to put my dreams first for a change and helped me realise what I wanted in life.

My mind suddenly flashed back to the hallway where I had finally admitted my feelings out loud to her.

'_I love you Emma. There, I finally said it. And you love me'_.

I could see her eyes widening, her petite frame stood before me, unmoving; her emotions seeping through those hazel pools that burnt through my soul. Before I knew it I had cupped her cheek and pressed my lips against hers, not caring about Carl but thinking about her and me, together.

Removing one hand that was wrapped around the pillow I brought it to my lips and retraced where her lips had been a few days prior. I could still faintly feel the sensation of her lips on mine; she had kissed me back. My hand travelled lower, resting upon my chest in which her hand had instinctively wandered, grasping my shirt before pulling away, her breath hitching as she did so.

'_This thing isn't over between us'_.

How could it be over? She had kissed me back hadn't she? Despite my recent behaviour, despite Carl, despite everything that we had been through, she had wanted that kiss as much as I had and I'd be damned if I let her slip through my fingers again. Tomorrow, I would go and speak to her.

I glanced across at the clock displayed on the front of the television screen; 2:45 am. I ran my hands over my face and up through my curls; I had to be up in just over 4 hours and with thoughts of Emma on my mind, I knew I was no closer to sleep than before. I turned over, hoping and praying I could shut my eyes and drift off, blocking out images of my Emma in the arms of another man. After finding a comfy spot on the couch, I eventually succumbed to the sleep that I had so desperately craved.

**Emma's POV**

I had gone to bed that night tired and exhausted. The end of the academic year meant more and more paperwork made its way into my paper tray and with my current state of emotions, I had thrown myself into work, trying to avoid thinking about the past week of events.

'_I love you Emma'_

For so long I had waited for him to tell me those words. I had often gone to bed thinking about what it would be like to finally hear Will Schuester reveal his love to me. I had pictured it in all different scenarios; my favourite being in a park as we lay out on a woollen blanket, sitting in each other's arms, his back resting upon the shaded tree behind us, whispering those three words of adoration into my ear as I would turn around, meeting his stare before placing my lips to his, telling him those three words back. But never had I imagined it being in the halls of McKinley High.

After he left, following Rachel into the auditorium I remained still. He had just told me he loved me and then. Oh god and then he had kissed me. I forgot how much I missed the feel of his lips on mine, the blood rushing through my veins as that spark of electricity reignited itself once again in the pit of my stomach. It had felt so good to be close to him again and before the rational side of my brain had kicked in I had began to kiss him back, completely forgetting about the guy I was currently dating. Things were going really well with Carl. He was sweet, not to mention good looking; his dark hair sat on top of his head, contrasting beautifully with his pearly white teeth and blue, ocean coloured eyes. Any woman would be a fool not to notice him which was why it had taken me by surprise when he had asked me out. I had accepted his invitation to dinner after ringing my therapist, Dr Rothberg and asking her advice. Therapy had been going well and I no longer dreaded eating out, providing I had with me, a pack of disinfectant wipes and a bottle of hand sanitizer. Dinner had been pleasant that evening and I found myself enjoying Carl's company, laughing more than I would normally. He had dropped me off home that night, placing a kiss gently to my cheek and asking if the next day was too soon to see me again. I had accepted and since then I had seen him every night. Over those two weeks I truly believed that I could move on from Will Schuester and it felt good to finally have control over my feelings. But when he had stepped into my office, a face that could melt a thousand hearts I knew that my heart only beated for one and always would. He looked so down, so defeated, I didn't know what to do. I tried my best to give him the advice he so desperately needed to motivate the kids, they had all worked so hard and I couldn't bear the thought of them giving up now after all they had been through. He had smiled at me and told me that he missed me and I panicked. I saw his face change, the smile that previously lay there was now replaced by a confused one as I kept rambling on, unable to stop once the words _'Carl'_ had came out. I knew he had to know eventually but right then, when he was so down already?

I climbed out of bed and paced towards the bathroom which was attached horizontally to my bedroom. I turned on the tap before bringing the cool water up to my face and splashing it gently to my burning cheeks. After confessing his love to me I had avoided him like the plague, not wanting to even think about the consequences those three little words would have on our relationship. Sure, my heart still belonged to him but I had to protect it. Those three words couldn't change the fact that he had hurt me the day I found out about Shelby and April, and to hear it from Sue of all people,

'_Make out sessions with the coach of Vocal Adrenaline'_.

And then Carl, where did he fit into this mess? He was a decent guy and unlike Will, we had no complicated history together. Maybe I should just give him a chance?

I made my way back to the bedroom, my desperation for sleep overriding my thoughts of Will Schuester and Carl Howell. Tomorrow was a new day and with it, I would try and take control.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone that read or responded to my first chapter, it means a lot! Anyway heres the second chapter. Enjoy!**

**Wills POV**

_Crap_. I thought as I darted through my flat, doing my best to hurry. I was no longer a college student so hitting the snooze button after a night of virtually no sleep was no longer acceptable. I quickly jumped in the shower, humming along to some long forgotten tune that was drifting from the radio in the kitchen. I skipped shaving, leaving me with a day old stubble that was rugged to my touch. 10 minutes to make it to school. So much for the hope of trying to catch her before school started. I quickly changed, selecting a pair of dark denim jeans from my wardrobe, a white shirt with a red and black striped tie from the draw and to complete the look, a light gray cardigan with a periwinkle trim around the edge. I ran a squirt of gel through my hair to tame the curls that had strayed out of place this morning. Thankful I had packed my bag the night before, I grabbed it from the counter and sprinted out of the door, taking the stairs two at a time before reaching the parking complex below my building and racing to school.

By third period, I was feeling the strain of little sleep. I had just made it through the school entrance when the bell went so I hurried to my classroom, relieved as I realised my first class contained many of the glee kids. Rachel was situated next to Finn, her head resting against his shoulder as they held hands under the table. I moved my eye to the back of the classroom where Quinn sat with Mercedes and Kurt, talking aimlessly about something. I couldn't help but smile to myself. The kids had all grown so close throughout their time in Glee club, making friends with those who that at one time they wouldn't have dreamed of saying hi to. The bell for lunch eventually came and the same feeling of loss came over me. I considered going to the staff room but given Emma's outburst a few weeks back I could still see some of the teachers giving me sideward glances, every so often a snigger escaping from their mouths. Ruling that option out I weighed up my other two; I could go and sit in my office, pull out my sandwich and a book and sit there on my own like I had for the past couple of weeks or I could go and see her. Preferring the later, I bounded down the hallways, bumping into a few freshmen's as I made it to her door. She was sat there, her lunch neatly presented in front of her. She was wearing a white blouse with ruffles that travelled downwards on her stomach which was clad nicely with (from what I could see from this angle) a flowing navy skirt and a pair of red Mary Janes. She looked up from her desk, making me further embarrassed by the fact that she had just caught me staring at her. Giving that she hadn't broke eye contact with me or turned away, I mustered up some courage and opened her door, taking a seat in a chair opposite her.

'_Hi'_. I said, my throat suddenly becoming very dry as everything I wanted to say suddenly disappeared from my mind.

'_Hi'_ she replied before glancing back down to her sandwich, her hands intertwining with one another as she began to anxiously twist them round one another. Clearly she was as nervous as I was.

'_So are we not gonna talk about it then Em?' _I knew I had to bite the bullet and take the first step if we were to ever clear the air between us and put aside our differences.

_Talk about what Will? I'm with Carl.'_ The look she shot me was unreadable. How could she just sit there and pretend like nothing's happened? I suddenly felt a pang of anger and stood up, leaning slightly over her desk, staring into her eyes.

'_What's there to talk about?_ _'Everything Emma! There's everything to talk about! Did my words mean nothing to you? That kiss? Did that mean nothing to you either?' _I leant closer, bringing her chin towards me as I placed my lips on hers again before breaking away almost immediately, her eyes fluttering closed for just a second before reopening. 'And that one? Did that not mean anything to you either?_ I love you Emma and can you honestly just sit there and tell me there's nothing here?' _I raised my right index finger, motioning it between her heart and mine before I continued, still staring directly into her amber eyes. '_I felt your lips on mine on Monday Emma and you wanted that kiss as much as I did. I meant what I said, this thing isn't over between us and I'll be damned if I let anything including that dentist get in the way.'_

**Emma's POV**

I didn't know what to say or do. He was still staring at me, his eyes burning into mine, the beginnings of tears glistening in his eyes. After last night I had woken up feeling somewhat refreshed but as the day continued my demeanour had slipped. No longer did I have the air of confidence that I had possessed this morning and I had gone on continuing to avoid him as much as possible. But now he was here, confronting me and my mind went to autopilot.

'_Carl'_

'_Excuse me?'_

'_Carl, THAT dentist, his name is Carl' _

'_Is that all you can say? His name? Emma I've just told you I love you and that is all you can say?'_

A lone tear ran down his left cheek and his hand flew automatically up to it, turning his back away from me as he wiped it away.

'_Will'_. My voice came out soft and before continuing I swallowed a lump that was lodged firmly in the back of my throat. I raised my hand to conceal a cough, hoping that it would force the tears back down that threatened to spill. He turned towards me. All I wanted to do was stand up and wrap my arms around him and forgive him, tell him that I loved him too and that I wanted nothing more than to exist in his arms, only his arms. But then I thought back to how it had felt, having my heart broken by the only man, except my father that I had loved and I vowed I couldn't let it happen again, I wasn't ready to go through that kind of heartache again.

'_Will'_. My voice came out firmer and harsher than I had anticipated but I continued anyway, knowing that if I didn't say this now, I would lose my bottle. _'You hurt me Will, no, you crushed me'_. He continued to gaze at me, his face becoming softer as another tear trickled down his face. Oh gawd this was harder than I anticipated.

'_And I can't go through that again Will, 'I'm sorry but I just can't'. _Tears that fell down his face began to mirror in my own as I felt my eyes release the tears that had been building up.

'_We __**did**__ have something Will but I'm with Carl now and he's a good guy and...'_

Before I knew it his lips were on again mine and it took every ounce of my strength to push him away and not to reach for the back of his neck and pull him closer,

'_No Will, no.'_ my hands flew up in the air instinctively as I saw him back away as my voice became strained, _'You can't keep doing this to me! It's not fair! You can't keep kissing me in hopes that all our problems will just magically disappear, you just can't ok?'_ I could feel more tears threatening to fall out of frustration; I couldn't have my heart broken again. _'I'm with Carl now Will and you have to accept that that's the decision I've made.'_

'_He won't ever love you the way I love you and you won't love him the way you love me.'_

'_Loved you Will'_ I corrected him, lying through my teeth.

'_Liar'_ he snapped back, he had begun to get frustrated, running a hand across the back of his neck as he turned his back away from me letting out a sigh he had clearly been holding. I began to get angry at him, what right did he have to get frustrated at me? He was the one that had hurt me! My blood started to boil and I just wanted him gone.

'_Just go Will'_. If I couldn't talk to him reasonably, I didn't want to talk to him at all.

'_No Em, because if I walk out that door right now we'll fall back into how it has been for weeks, awkward moments, longing stares, wanting but never touching and I can't do it Emma. I've tried and it's killed me and I know it's been killing you too, I can see it in your eyes.' _

'_Will, please. Just go. I've made up my mind. Just accept it and move on'_. I said the last bit with as much authority I could muster at this given time. He was staring right into my eyes as I tried to divert my eyes away, looking for anything to distract me from his stare.

'_Moved on with Carl? No you haven't, don't you dare lie to me Emma, I know you still love me'. _

That's what made me lose it. Knowing that he knew my emotions better than I did myself terrified me to my very core. Before I knew what I was saying it came out, _'I did it Will'_. He gave me a questioning look before I continued knowing that this was the only thing that would get him to go so I could lock my door and cry. I couldn't have him break my heart again I kept telling myself, trying to justify the words that were about to come out of my mouth. I looked him straight in the eyes, making sure they gave nothing away and just said the four words that he dreaded to hear, _'I slept with Carl'_.

* * *

He had frozen, his eyes staring at me before opening his mouth then shutting it again.

'_Wh-what?'_ I could see the pain in his eyes and I immediately regretted even opening my mouth but the world vomit kept coming out,

'_I'm sorry Will, I just, after Monday, and well Carl...' _I didn't even get through my sentence, not that I could anyway when he suddenly turned around and left the room his eyes now firmly fixed on getting as far away from me as possible.

What had possessed me to even say it? I lowered my face to my hands and let out a few gentle sobs. I was no better than Terri; I had lied to him for my own selfish needs. I was scared; scared that if I truly opened myself up to him it would hurt twice as much as last time if something happened between us. But there was no need to lie to him. No reason to pretend that I had slept with another man. I got up from my chair, needing to find him right away. I left my room without even wiping the handles; I was too preoccupied that even the thought of germs left my head. I could vaguely see him through the blinds but as I was about to knock the end of lunchtime bell had rung and I had an appointment to get to. How had I got myself into this I thought as I headed back to my office? I sat down once again, looking through my bag for my phone. I thought about texting him, asking him to come round tonight so I could reveal that those words were nothing more than a lie and that I was willing to give him another chance. However, glancing down, I realised I had a new message. Carl.

_Hey babes, just wondering if were still on for tonight; movie and dinner at mine? Say 7:30? x_

_Crap_. I had completely forgotten I was meeting Carl tonight. Deciding that Carl deserved better than to be stood up I scribbled a short 'yes' reply to him, adding a little 'x' on the end. He was truly a nice guy but with my heart and now my mind being completely swamped by thoughts of Will Schuester I didn't see any way it could work. I began to dread the turn of 7:30 already.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wills POV**

I still couldn't believe it. Emma had slept with Carl. I knew I had no right to get angry but I couldn't help it. I had told her I loved her that day and then to find out that hours later she was in the arms of another man? Part of me didn't want to believe her. It had only been over a week since she had said they hadn't had sex, how could things change so suddenly? I grabbed another cold beer from the fridge, thankful it was a Friday.

'_I slept with Carl'_

I clenched my left hand into a ball, trying as best as I could to relieve some of the pain I felt as I brought the beer to my mouth, taking a swig. I knew it was selfish but I wanted her first time to be with me, not some guy that had swooped in three weeks prior. I had often thought about it, what it would be like to make love to her, she had already captured my heart and I wanted her to fully know how I felt; candles, words of adoration, showering her bodies full of kisses, refusing to leave any one bit of skin untouched, bringing her to a sweet release that no man had ever done before.

I leant over to my speakers, hoping that music would be able to distract me. I turned them on, waiting for the sound of music to begin filling my flat as I adjusted myself comfortably on the couch. My iPod selected songs at random; starting with a slow number from Biffy Clyro then moving onto a much faster paced song; Train's latest single. As the last lyrics of 'Hey, Soul Sister' faded away, the next song drew me back to my thoughts of Emma.

'_So this is the end, of you and me, we had a good run now I'm setting you free'..._

'_Remember when you were my boat, and I was your sea, together we'd float, so delicately. But that was back when we could talk about anything'..._

'_Three whole words and eight letters late'_

My thoughts were interrupted at a faint tapping at the door. Wondering who would be calling round at this time, I opened the door, shocked as to who stood there; it was Emma.

**Emma's POV**

I had arrived at Carls a little bit before half 7, my nerves already setting in. I had had three showers since getting home in hopes that the hot water would be able to ease my racing heart. I had spent since the end of school thinking about what to do. I knew that he was sorry, I knew that he loved me and through his persistence to fight for me; I knew he wouldn't do it again. All that was stopping me was my own stupid pride and my relationship with Carl. It could be so simple I thought; he loved me, I loved him. The only way I could truly work things out in my head was to end it with Carl. I knew I was being unfair to him, not really giving him a chance but it would be worse to lead him on knowing that my heart would never truly be his. I decided to wait until after dinner to speak to him, knowing who he was he probably spent a great deal of time making a lovely dinner and I didn't want to just turn up, break things off and turn away. He deserved better.

I knocked on the door, waiting a minute or two before Carl opened the door, dishcloth slung over his shoulder as he leaned in to greet me, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled at him weakly, offering to help with dinner but he said it was already done and all I needed to do was sit down and enjoy. I excused myself, heading towards his bathroom to wash up before joining him at the dining table. Being one of the two dentists in Lima certainly had its perks. His flat was almost double the size of mine, the floors and walls decorated in expensive patterns that gave a lavish feel to the place. We made small talk throughout dinner, heading to the couch after he had washed the dishes. He selected a film, 'The Notebook' of all things. I couldn't really deal with anymore love problems right now. He had snuggled up behind me, his head just resting over mine as his right arm draped across my stomach. I began to feel a sense of anxiety pass through my body; I knew I needed to say something soon. We continued watching the film, Ally and Noah on the beach reciting her famous 'I'm a bird' speech. My thoughts were interrupted when Carl hit pause on the button and rolled me onto my back so he could look into my eyes, his body hovering over mine.

'_You know I've watched this film far too many times because Ally reminds me of you, you know'._ He looked into my eyes, a smile arising on his face. _'I mean she's a guys dream, smart.'_ He placed a kiss on my cheek, _'beautiful'_, another kiss went to my other cheek _'and absolutely breathtaking'_. He then moved his lips to mine, starting of slowly as the hand that was draped over my stomach now started to move up under my shirt, beginning to make its way to my breast. I pushed his chest lightly, his lips leaving mine as I sat up.

'_I'm sorry, I-I just can't. I'm sorry Carl'_. I panicked, his body moving away from me as he found a seat at the other end of the couch.

'_I'm sorry Em, I shouldn't have rushed you, I know your condition is hard to deal with and I'm willing to wait'_. I knew I should have been thinking of a way to break things off gently with him but my mind kept leaping to the fact that he had just called me Em. That was Will's nickname for me and it sounded foreign coming from another man's lips.

'_No no it's not that Carl its-'_

'_It's Will isn't it?'_ He cut me off, looking at me with sympathetic eyes as mine widened, clearly telling him that he was right on the money.

'_How did you-'_, I couldn't even finish.

'_I guess I always knew. You're a fantastic woman Emma; I kept denying it to myself that you were clearly not over him because, well your you. You're full of love, I mean the way you help those kids is just amazing not to mention that you're absolutely stunning.' _I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. _'The way you used to talk about him, even when you were angry with him, you could tell that there were still feelings there. Hate is a fine line between love Emma and caring that much about someone and to have them hurt you the way he did would take a long time, longer than you waited before seeing me to get over.'_

Tears had begun to fall down my cheeks. How could he be so understanding?

'_I'm so sorry Carl. You're amazing, you know that? One day, some woman will be so lucky to have found such a man'._

'_Come here'_ he said motioning me over to his side of the couch, wrapping me in an embrace as he kissed the top of my head. _'Make sure that you know this time he's not gonna hurt you ok?' _I nodded and looking into his eyes I kissed him, _'Thank you Carl, for everything'_. He smiled back before I got off the couch and headed towards the door.

'_I'll see you in 5 months then?_' he said, winking at me. I just smiled at him and put my hand up to wave as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I left his flat, closing the door as I headed to my car. _Make sure that you know that this time he's not gonna hurt you_. I knew. I knew he wouldn't. I had made up my mind, now all I had to do was to see if he still wanted me.

* * *

Okay guys so there's chapter 3!

The song that reminds Will of Emma and their relationship is 'Fireworks' by You Me At Six. I thought it fit well with the way Will was feeling at the time.

I thought a long time about how I wanted Carl to be portrayed and came to the conclusion that he was a decent guy that could help Emma realise that it was time to forgive Will because she obviously still loves him! I'm sorry if this chapter is a little rushed, i don't like keeping Emma and Will apart from each other for too long so maybe chapter 4 will be a little kinder to them both (:

Anyway thankyou to all of you that are following this story! I'd love to hear what you all think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! Sorry for the delay in posting, I've had laptop troubles all week but their finally sorted so I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by the weekend. I've got a few ideas of where I want this story to go that involves a lot of Will/Emma romance and maybe a little smut on the way ;) so keep reading!**

**A big THANK YOU to all of you that have taken the time to review, I really appreciate it - they make me want to write more and more!**

**Wills POV**

To be honest, the last person I imagined standing in front of me at this moment in time was Emma. She looked exhausted. Her hair had begun to fall out of place and by the looks of it; she had spent a great amount of the night crying.

'_Will, I'm-'_, She barely got through the first few words of her sentence before the tears began to fall and despite everything, I pulled her instinctively into my arms as she gripped hold of my shirt, her tiny frame shaking. We stood there for a while, no talking, her hands clutching my now soaked through t-shirt, my arms wrapped around her, making soothing noises to try and calm her down. Eventually her sobs had subsided and I dared to ask her the question,

'_Emma, what's happened? What's wrong?'_ My mind instantly came to all sorts of conclusions, had a relative passed away, her favourite soap character got killed off, Carl? What if he had done something to her, oh god he would kill him if he had.

'_Em, Carl's not done anything to you has he?' _I moved my index finger under her chin, tilting her head towards me so i could look her in the eye. For me, one look into her eyes and I could tell what she was thinking, what she wanted, they were like a gateway to her soul. Her eyes locked with mine, widening at my question before shaking her head.

'_No, gosh no, erm, Carl's fine, he's well he's at home and well we-' _

'_Emma you're not making any sense'_ I interrupted, why was she here, what was she trying to say? She looked into my eyes once more, a pained expression rising upon her face,

'_Carl and I... we're over'._

**Emma's POV**

He didn't say anything for a while, just continued looking at me, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. I had started fidgeting with hands. Oh gawd I was so nervous, I didn't know what to do. What if this afternoon was the final straw? What if I had blown my last chance because of a lie? I could feel more tears urging their way to the front of my eyes, threatening to spill over once again.

'_I'm sorry Will, I'm so, so sorry I-'_ Before I could finish what I wanted to say, tell him that I lied about sleeping with Carl he began to hold me again, his head resting on top of mine as he began to hush me, moving his hands up and down my back, rubbing gently.

'_Ssh, no more talking tonight ok?'_ I nodded before he took my hand and led me to the couch. He sat down first, his hand never leaving mine as he ushered me to curl up beside him in the space behind his legs, my head resting on his right shoulder as his arm wrapped around me, holding me closer. We sat there in silence until I glanced at the time. I could faintly hear the sound of Will's snoozing so I tried my best to manoeuvre my way out from under his arm, doing my best not to disturb him. As I attempted, I felt his arm tense around me, holding me in my current position.

His eyes still shut he muttered, 'Where do you think you're going?'

'_It's late, I thought you were asleep and thought I should you know go home'_.

'_Stay'_ His eyes fluttered open and he turned his head slightly towards me, leaning in so his forehead was resting on mine. He gave me a weak smile and I knew then I could not deny him anything.

'_Ok'_ I whispered back and I could see the smile grow on his face. _'But what will I do about clothes...'_ I began to panic, _'I can't sleep in these that's-'_. He cut me off, knowing that my word vomit was imminent.

'_How does one of my t-shirts sound?'_ He got up off the couch, leaving me for a split second before returning with what looked like his old McKinley High running top.

'_It's too small for me now anyway, growth spurts at 16'_ he chuckled. _'Anyway it would probably be way to big on you so it would well you know, cover you'_. His cheeks grew slightly red as he stammered the last few words out. I thanked him, grabbing the t-shirt and heading to the bathroom. Last time I stood here I was staring at myself in the mirror, not recognising the reflection before me, a sheer piece of lavender material clinging loosely to my body as I tried to convince myself I was ready to take the next stage in my relationship with Will. Now I stood here, mascara running down my face, my curls falling out of place. I looked a mess. The bags under my eyes looked ghastly. I was tired. Tired of fighting my feelings, I had barely slept well since he told me he loved me, my mind keeping me up all night with what ifs. I lowered my hands into the sink, turning the tap on as I washed my face, trying as best as I could to remove the excess make-up that sat on my skin. I started to remove my clothes, folding them neatly on the laundry basket. I placed his t-shirt over the top of my head, the hem of it coming slightly below my bum. I brought the collar up to my nose; it smelt like him and I smiled. I eventually stepped out of the bathroom to find Will placing some cushions and a duvet on the couch. He had already changed into his pyjamas and upon entering he turned to me, a cushion still in hand,

'_Hey_, _I thought it was probably best if you know I slept on here tonight, you could do with a good night sleep'_. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I walked over to him, thanking him for everything, before whispering goodnight to him. As I started to walk to his bedroom his hand grabbed mine, turning me to face him. We stood there for just a moment, out hands interlocking before he lowered his head and kissed me ever so slightly on the lips, his nose resting on mine. Before I knew it he had pulled away, the butterflies still fluttering around in my stomach.

'_Goodnight Em'_.

It took me a while to regain my bearings but eventually I turned around, trying as best as I could to make it to the bedroom on my legs that had slowly begun to give way.

**Will's POV**

I couldn't sleep. Knowing the woman I loved was lying in my bed with my t-shirt on made my heart beat a thousand beats a minute. She had broken up with Carl. Why? How come all of a sudden? I knew I should have asked her about it but seeing her so upset, so deflated I opted not to, there would be plenty of time to talk later. I heard the sound of faint footsteps creep through the living room and I immediately sat up,

'_Em, is that you?' she giggled, of course it was her,_

'_I was just gonna grab a glass of water if that's ok, I couldn't sleep? You?'_

'_What?'_

'_How come you're still awake?' _

'_Oh yeah, I couldn't sleep either, I was just thinking'_. She crept up to the couch, sitting at the opposite end of the couch, her hands resting in her lap.

'_About what? What were you thinking of?' _

I lifted the duvet up, indicating for her to crawl underneath it to my end of the couch. She followed suit, sitting next to me, our bodies barely touching yet the feeling of excitement rushed through my veins; how was it possible one person could have such an effect on another? I wrapped the duvet around us, making sure that she was well covered and comfortable before continuing.

'_I don't know Emma. I'm so confused. I just don't understand. I told you I loved you, that I was sorry and then you tell me that you and Carl have had-'_, I couldn't bring myself to say it, _'and then all of a sudden you've broken up with him and now your here, on my couch at 3:30 in the morning and I just don't know how it all got so complicated.'_ I rubbed the back of my neck before turning to her,

'_Em, please say something, I need to know, why are you here?_'

It took a while but she finally faced me, a lone tear trickling from her right eye. I reached over and brushed it away, my fingertips lingering there a while longer as I stroked her cheek._ 'Emma, please?'_

'_I'm so sorry Will. I've made such a mess of things. I've ended up hurting you, Carl. I never stopped loving you Will. Gawd I tried, I mean really I did.' _She let out a small exhale before continuing. _'When Carl asked me out I said yes to try and prove to myself that I could move on from you and over the course of those two weeks I really began to believe I could and then you had to burst my bubble and tell me that you love me and then I was back on square one again'_. She looked me in the eyes and gave me a sympathetic smile, a knot tightening in my throat. _'Hearing that you loved me, that you were willing to fight for me scared me Will, It terrified me even. I panicked Will. I was so, so confused. I liked Carl, he was wonderful but he wasn't you Will'._

'_Then why did you- I mean, why did you sleep with Carl then if you still loved me?'_ She had started to shake, biting down on her lip as she did so and I knew that she was trying to stop herself from crying. All I wanted to do was hold her, run my hands through her hair and tell her that it didn't matter. But if I didn't do this now, I'd never have the courage to ask her again. I moved my hand gently across hers, giving it a little squeeze, urging her to continue.

'_I just wanted you gone Will and you kept yelling at me, telling me all this stuff that I was too afraid to say out loud. It was the only way I could get you to go, I'm so sorry'_. By now she was fully crying and it broke my heart. I continued to hold her hand, my thumb tracing the outline of her knuckles.

'_Em, I don't understand, you slept with him to get rid of me?'_

'_No, oh gosh, no today, when you were in my office you told me that you knew I loved you and that I hadn't moved on and it made me mad Will. It made me mad because you know me so well and I just wanted you to leave me alone that's why-'_

'_Why what Emma'_

'_I lied to you Will, I'm so sorry. I never slept with Carl, I just said it because I knew that it would hurt you and then I realised that I had made such a horrible mistake, that I was no better than Terri and that you-'_ She stopped talking as I placed my lips on hers, my hand moving from her hand to the back of her head, pulling her close as my fingers tangled through her hair. I wasn't mad at her at all, maybe I should have been but I was tired of fighting. I didn't want to spend any more time apart from her, not now she was finally mine. I eventually pulled away, looking at her face. Her eyes were beginning to open, her breath becoming more and more ragged.

'_Will I don't und-, aren't you mad at me, I mean I lied to you,'_

'_Ssh,'_ I said, my thumb grazing the side of her cheek, _'I think we've both been through enough recently. I don't want to keep doing this to us Em, the longing looks, the brief exchanges. This past couple of months have killed me Emma and I can't do it again. I love you and I never, ever want to be apart from you again.' _Her smile lit up her face_. _

'_Me neither'_. I smiled back at her before bringing my lips crashing down on to hers once more. This kiss felt so much different to the past few we had shared. This one had more passion, more hunger behind it. I grazed her bottom lip with my tongue as she opened her mouth, allowing me to explore. She tasted so good. The hand that wasn't in her hair wrapped around her waist as I held her as close as possible, never wanting to let go. One of her hands found the curls at the nape of my neck and she began to twist them through her fingers, her other hand coming up to the side of my face, cupping my cheek in her palm. As our kiss intensified I couldn't help but let out a moan I had been holding, her lips smiling into our kiss.

She finally pulled away as we both struggled for breath, her lips looking well devoured. I lay back on the couch, pulling her with me so her head rested just above my heart as her body lay stretched against mine. I pulled the duvet over us, eventually moving my arms to wrap around her. She felt perfect next to me and I knew then I never wanted to fall asleep without her in my arms.

'_Night Em,'_

'_I love you'_ she muffled into my chest, kissing my heart through the t-shirt I was wearing. My arms tightened around her before whispering _I love you_ back as we both drifted off into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay so I felt motivated to write the next part of the story. I know its short but it is mainly here as a filler that will lead us nicely onto the next few chapters. I've already started drafting a few more chapters but they are not quite ready to be published just yet. Thanks again to all of you that take the time to review, it really means a lot!**

**Emma's POV**

As the sunlight flickered between the gaps in the curtains I woke up to find myself for a split second wondering where I was. I opened my eyes fully, regaining my sense of awareness. Never would I have imagined I would be lying next to Will Schuester (well more on top of him) this time last week. I began to shift my weight slightly as he began to stir, his arms still wrapped around me.

'_Hey'_ he whispered, his eyes still shut yet a small smile crept onto his lips.

'_Hey'_ I replied. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I had gone from lying to Will, to ending things with Carl to waking up next to Will in the space of half a day. How time flies.

'_How did you sleep?'_ he asked groggily as he began to sit up, pulling me up so I sat in between his legs, my back resting on his chest as his arms came to hold me from behind.

'_Well. Really well. I'm worried I'll never get to sleep again without you by my_ _side_'. He chuckled slightly to himself, his laugh vibrating against the back of my neck as he brought his lips to the skin that lay there, kissing it ever so softly.

'_Good, because I plan on never letting you sleep alone again'._

He chuckled to himself as his hands began to play aimlessly with the hem of my (well his) t-shirt, running the edges through his fingers. Suddenly it dawned on me that I was wearing next to nothing, a wave of anxiety fulfilling me. I quickly jumped off the couch, pushing the duvet aside as I began to make my way to the bathroom.

'_Emma, what's wrong?_' He swung his legs over the couch and now had a bemused look on his face.

'_Oh, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't but I just feel, well a little bit exposed'_. He chuckled to himself again before standing before me.

'_How about you jump into the shower while I cook us breakfast and then you can change back into your clothes – if you're ok with that?'_ He raised his eyebrow, that lopsided grin coming to rest upon his face. I had started to make progress with my therapist and the thought of slipping on the same clothes didn't fill me with the same dread. Besides, once I got home I could change again.

'_Sounds great, I'm sorry Will I just, well I get embarrassed'_

'_Emma'_, he said sternly before kissing me on the forehead, _'there is nothing to be embarrassed about ok? You're perfect'._

Hearing him say those two little words made my heart swell inside. I leaned up slightly pecking him on the lips. I was doing my best to try and step out of my comfort zone and I think he noticed, smiling down at me when we broke apart.

'_Your amazing, you know that?_' He sniggered slightly, _'Right I'll make a start on breakfast, should be ready in about 20 minutes that ok?'_

'_Yeah, sure'_. As he paced into the kitchen, I left the room and headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

**Wills POV**

I hadn't felt this happy in such a long time. I had the woman of my dreams finally admit her love for me and it made my heart swell. I was about to start making breakfast when the phone rang. I picked up the phone from the stand and clicking the green telephone, answering it.

'_Hello?'_

'_Will, hi I hope I've not woken you up love'_. I rolled my eyes

'_No mum, I'm up'_

'_Oh good, well I've rang as more of a favour for your dad actually, you see. He's managed to put his back out of place last night as he and I were well we were trying out this new posit-'_

'_I don't need to know mum, I really really don't!_' My face turning red from the embarrassment at the thought of...

'_Oh Will don't be such a prude, me and your father were still young enough for all of that and-'_

'_Mum what did you want to ask me?_' I decided cutting her was my only option unless I wanted to hear her talk about sex for the next hour.

'_Right yes anyway, as I was saying your father has injured his back and he had planned on going down to the cabin next week to finish sprucing the boat up so it was ready for us to use to over the summer. Anyway, Will if you don't mind, I know term finishes next week but could you please go down and finish it off for us, we'd be ever so grateful.'_

Normally I'd try and find some excuse within in to say no but I saw it as an opportunity to take Emma away from the week so that we could get to know one another properly.

'_Sure Mum, I'll drive down on Tuesday'_

'_Oh Will, thank you! I'll go and let your father know. Take care son.'_

'_Bye mum!' _

By the time I had hung up, the water had stopped running in the bathroom and I could hear her moving around. Realising I had nothing prepared for breakfast, I quickly grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge and poured us each a glass. I took a sip before seeing her enter the room in the same clothes she wore yesterday, her hair slightly damp as strands clung to her face.

'_Wow you've really gone all out for breakfast I see!_' She said sarcastically as I poked her lightly in the ribs earning a giggle.

'_My mum rang actually'_ offering some sort of explanation,

'_Oh really, she ok?' _

'_Yeah, yeah she's fine. It's my dad actually, he's put his back out of place doing-'_ I stopped myself before finishing, realising the embarrassment it would cause,_ 'Anyway, he was supposed to finish sprucing up the boat they own down at the lodge. So she rang to see if I could go down and finish it for them'. _

She looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

'_So I'm thinking of travelling down after we break up on Tuesday, it's just the other side of Ohio and'_

'_Oh so how long will you be gone for?'_ She asked; a slight disappointed tone arising from her voice.

'_About a week or so, it shouldn't take long. Last time I spoke with my dad he said it was almost complete. So I was thinking, if you're not busy, do you fancy coming with me?'_

'She looked up, her eyes widening as she smiled.

'_Really? You want me to come?'_

'_Oh course! I think it would be great just to get away from Lima for a few days, get to know one another properly. We used to go to the cabin every summer when I was a boy. It overlooks a really pretty lake and it's very secluded so there will be no one around to bother us. Sound good?'_

'_Sounds perfect Will._' She wove her arms around my neck and kissed me, my hands dropping to her waist as I held her close. Suddenly, I couldn't wait for Tuesday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Emma's POV**

The bell that signalled the end of school couldn't come fast enough as I drummed my fingers impatiently on my desk. An hour to go. Even though it was a half day, I couldn't stand the waiting. The hand on the clock seemed to have stopped moving. After spending the weekend at Will's, apart from one quick stop at my flat to grab some fresh clothes, I found it hard to not be around him all the time. I had barely seen him today. His classes were back to back and the amount of paper work I had on the edge of my desk kept me working all morning. I had already packed my bag for our trip, my case tucked neatly in the boot of my car. Returning home on Sunday night I had set aside possible outfits for our imminent trip and by Monday night, after dashing to the store to purchase a high enough sun screen and other essentials including a bikini, I ironed my clothes and folded them neatly into my case. 50 minutes to go. I couldn't stand this. I felt like an impatient kid. My mind wandered to what Will was doing right now. After spending hours upon end memorising his timetable over the years, I knew that he had the glee club on a Tuesday morning. He had fought with Figgins on several occasions to let them slot in an extra practise session since their defeat at Regional's and eventually he conceded, concluding that this way, the kids stood a shot at winning.

_Will and I had spent part of Sunday afternoon filling each other in on what had happened in our respective lives during the time in which we had avoided one another. He brought up glee and the devastation he felt for the kids when they realised they hadn't place. The hurt in his eyes pained me. I knew he loved each and every single one of those kids; they had all grown so close over the past few months and he said it was inspiring to watch them all develop friendships outside their 'labels'. He revealed it was Sue that actually saved the club and he chuckled at the prospect of enduring a few more years of sly digs and hair jokes. I myself giggled at this before running my hand through his curly locks 'God help me if your hair actually does start to look like a briar patch!'_

I got up, resisting the urge to reach for an anti-bacteria wipe as I opened my door. Progress I thought. I could hear the faint sound of music coming from the auditorium down the hallway and I began to walk towards the music, needing to see him, even just from afar. The doors were open and I stood there watching in amazement as Will sat there, guitar in hand singing and strumming to Bon Jovi's 'Always'. The corners of my mouth turned into a smile as I recalled my conversation with Will on Sunday afternoon.

_After talking about the glee club Will had gone on to talk about the divorce and how weird it was to finally remove the band of metal that had sat on his fingers for what had felt like an eternity. I ran my hand over the lightened patch of skin that had been left there and I could see his eyes fill up. He explained that what upset him the most was that even though his marriage was falling apart, he was willing to stay for the baby's sake. I knew he was so excited to be a father and the way the glee club looks up to him, I knew he was ready to be one. I had then gone on to explain things about my relationship with Carl, as he had with Shelby and April. I was relieved to find out he had not had sex with April Rhodes, but the thought of him turning to Shelby so soon after I had admitted to him a secret I had yet to share with anyone else hurt. He could see the pain in my eyes as he spoke but I reassured him that I had forgiven him and that I was willing to move past it. We were sitting on the floor, his back resting on the couch as I sat between his legs, back to his chest, our hands intertwined as he spoke. 'After that day in your office, when you showed me the Thunderclap I went home and put on my iTunes, trying to find us a new song, one that could just be ours. I spent all night scanning my music but nothing leaped out at me that summed up how I felt. After the moment in the staff room-' I immediately faced him with an embarrassed look on my face, 'No Emma you were right, my behaviour was uncalled for- I'm so sorry I hurt you,', I squeezed his hand, prompting him to continue. 'Well that night I was driving home and I was listening to the radio and suddenly 'Bon Jovi' comes on. I was shocked because I hadn't heard the song for years but as I listened to the lyrics, my mind was drawn to you Emma. 'Which song was it?' By this time I was kneeling back on my legs as he got up and went over to the stereo, scrolling through his IPod. The first few notes filled the air and I immediately recognised the song. He walked over to me, lifting me off the floor and held me close. The chorus had kicked in and he began to sing the lyrics to me, making me smile into his shoulder. 'I mean it Emma. I know what I did hurt you but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I love you. Always will.' I moved up so our lips were inches from touching, 'Always' before kissing him chastely on the lips. _

'_Miss Pillsbury'_, the sound of Kurt's voice had brought me out of my thoughts,

'_Hm, yes Kurt?' _

'_Mr Schue was just giving us a lesson on how to express our emotions through words, though I hardly need any assistance I'm-'_ Finn managed to cut Rachel off with a kiss though she didn't seem to mine judging by the smile that appeared on her face after he pulled away. Distracted by Finn and Rachel, I didn't see Will head up the stairs,

'_Right kids; ready to run through 'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling again? And this time Finn, I want to feel like you actually believe in the words, I want to see the emotion in your face ok?'_

'_You got it Mr Schue'._

The kids paced down the steps, Will and I following them down, taking a seat in the auditorium as Finn opened the first verse.

'_So,'_ he said, slipping his hand in mine_, 'what did you reckon to the song before?'_

I smiled at him, _'I loved it. It was perfect.'_

'_Yeah?' _I could see the smile grow on his face and despite the glee club being mere metres away I leant in and captured his lips in mine prompting several '_whoos_' from the kids making my face flush with red. Will's smile still beamed as he turned to the kids.

'_Ok guys, from the top.' _

**Will's POV**

The final bell signalled the end of school and I couldn't wait to get out of McKinley and start the summer with Emma. I had explained where we were going and what the place looked like, and the fact that 'a little out of Ohio' was actually 8 hours East to Lake Hickory in North Carolina. I was worried that the road trip on top of the fact that she would be away from her familiarity would cause her to panic but she assured me that she would be ok; she had her therapist on speed dial if necessary. We set off a short while after school, Emma needing to dart back to her place beforehand to make sure everything was as it should be. It was around 09:30 pm when we finally arrived in Taylorsville, the exhaustion apparent on our faces. Emma had nodded off during the 6th or 7th hour and had remained asleep until we arrived. I had tried my best to concentrate on the long roads ahead of me, often sneaking a quick glance at her sleeping form; I couldn't get enough of her.

'_We're here?'_ she enquired, yawning whilst stretching a hand over her mouth.

'_Yeah, welcome to Isla Drive. Come on let's get inside, I want to show you around.'_ We walked to the front door and after finding the right key we entered the lounge. Emma stopped by the door to remove her shoes prompting me to follow suit.

'_I want to show you the best bit ok?'_

I led her upstairs and headed to the bedroom we'd be staying in and headed for the glass doors. Moving back the blinds, I unlocked the doors, stepping onto the balcony as the night time air hit my face. The backyard was lit by tiny garden lanterns that followed the path down onto the wooden decking where the boat lay; the wooden deck backing onto the lake.

'_Oh gosh it's so beautiful Will.' _

'_Isn't it? I used to wish I could wake up every morning to this view. When we came here, I forgot about everything, home, school, it was amazing. It's even prettier at sunrise though. I used to race in here every morning to try and watch it. I was fascinated by it.'_

'_I can understand why, it's breathtaking'._

'_Do you want to go down and see it up close?_' She nodded as we made our way downstairs and out through the back garden. I wrapped my arm around her as we walked down the hill. The boat was sat in the middle of the decking as we moved around it. I sat down, motioning Emma to do the same. She removed her cardigan and sat on it, our legs dangling off the ledge. I stretched down so my toes touched the water, the cool liquid filling the gaps between my toes.

'_Why don't you try it, the water here is beautiful'._

'_I don't know Will; I haven't been in any water other than in the bath or shower since before my accident'._

'_What? Never to the beach or even to the swimming pool?'_

'_No. The thought of how many people have been in there Will or what lurks beneath, it scares me. I just don't think I can do it.' _

'_Sure you can. Right take my hand and stretch your legs out in front of you.'_

'_Will'_ she said hesitantly.

'_It's ok Emma, look I'm gonna do it to ok?_' I stretched my legs out in front of me and a short while after, she did the same.

'_Right now slowly bend your knees and let your toes touch the water.'_

'_I don't know Will, I don't think I can do this'._

'_Sure you can Emma. Thing about how much you have changed since you started therapy. You've started to become in control over your OCD, I mean would you have been able to kiss the way you have kissed me if you weren't in control? You can do this.'_ I could see she had turned embarrassed and hoped I hadn't said too much. I wanted her to feel comfortable and at that moment I feared I had done exactly the opposite.

'_Em, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you and-'_ I stopped speaking when I saw that her toes were submerged under the water.

'_Emma thats-'_

'_Your right Will, I don't want this to control my life anymore. I've spent so long living in fear of germs or wondering if each surface has been correctly sterilised. I want to be able to live a normal life. I know it's not as easy as that but I want to give it a try, for me; for us.'_

Wow. I couldn't honestly believe how amazing this woman truly was. She was willing to battle something that has restricted aspects of her life for years. She had so much determination, so much courage. How could someone be so beautiful? Her soul, her heart, her looks; everything about her screamed beauty and I was so blessed to have her in my life.

'_You're amazing Em; to go what you've been through and to have that attitude. Words can't describe how much I admire you. I promise I will be here for you, whenever you need me, want me, I'm yours.'_

'_Always?'_

'_Always'. _

_

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Okay so Chapter 6 contains a little fluff for you all! The next couple of chapters will be more focussed on Will's childhood at the Lake and maybe a few hidden secrets will be revealed!

If anyone wants to know where they are staying I've attached a link on my profile.

Thanks again to all of you that are following Will and Emma's story, I hope I can do it justice!


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the delay in posting! I had a change of ideas with regard to this fic and I've also been working on a new fic 'Forgotten Goodbyes and Long lost Lovers', a fic also about Emma and Will so if you could check it out that would be awesome. Anyway after much delay, here is Chapter 7. I hope you enjoy it and please, please let me know what you think. Your reviews keep me going! Thanks to all of you that have stuck with this story (:

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**Wills POV**

Things had been going too well. I knew it was only a matter of time before our bliss ended, faded off into the distance. I rested my head back against the wall, flickers of white paint shedding themselves onto my jacket as I sat waiting for something to happen. I hadn't touched the coffee that sat by the table next to me, too panicked to even want it. I just wanted to cry. I had never felt anything like this before, my heart literally aching beyond my chest. I was just so helpless, what could I do to make things better?

...

**24 hours earlier**

We had spent the day exploring the town close by, picking up various items and ingredients that we would need for dinner that evening. She had been coping well; I had noticed a change in her; only showering once in the morning, once at night, only having to wipe down the kitchen surfaces once before she prepared dinner. We had arrived back at Iswa Drive, the sun high in the sky. We discussed taking a trip to the beach but she had suggested staying by the lake, more intimate, less messy. I had agreed, wanting to spend as much time with her as possible. I was still grateful she had let me back into her life like this, agreed to come with me on this trip, agreed to love me. I heard her shout from the kitchen and I came darting in. I paused for a moment, taking her in. She was stood there, flip flops on, a black and gold bikini, a sarong loosely tied around her waist. I had never seen her look so desirable and to be honest I had to let out a cough to calm parts of my anatomy that were beginning to wake. She must have sensed how I felt as her cheeks began to blush a shade of red, not quite meeting the colour of her hair. Subtle Will I thought, reprimanding myself mentally for embarrassing her.

'Could you, you know get my back?' She held out the lotion in her right hand, passing it to me sheepishly. 'My skins not designed for the sun'. I let out a little chuckle as a ran the lotion through my palms, applying the cool liquid along her shoulders, kneading it in gently until it absorbed leaving her skin almost glistening. I applied some more, now working the back of neck, travelling down onto her back, tracing the contours of her thin frame. I felt her let out a moan as she relaxed into my touch. Oh god, was she enjoying this? I decided upon a little experiment. I let my hands travel lower, giving her the intention I was still applying the cream; however I moved my arms around her waist causing her eyes to fly open. I stopped moving for a second, feeling her relax once again as I moved my lips to the side of her neck, finding the right pulse point before sucking at the skin, it becoming slightly darker as my teeth grazed there. She let out another moan and I was struggling to keep my body in check; the noises she was making sounded divine and I let my mind stray enough to wonder what it would be like to hear her moan like that again, under different circumstances. My hands travelled over her flat stomach, stopping to rest over her bellybutton; I had no intention of pushing her too far, just knowing that she was comfortable enough around me to let me touch her this was more than I could ever have hoped for.

After our brief moment in the kitchen we had moved through the paned doors, making our way down to the bottom of the garden. I held a basket full of lunch ingredients, taking a blanket for the two of us to sit on as we sat on the deck, watching the water rippling from beneath us. I removed my t-shirt, the sun reaching unbearable temperatures. I noticed her eyes widen as they travelled along my torso. It felt good that she was looking at me this way, a heavy sense of lust forming over her pupils as she finally raised her face back to mine, biting down on her lip playfully as my smirk met hers. The sexual tension had been brewing all afternoon and after a dip in the lake; Emma staying up on deck with her book I had decided I wanted to try something that night, nothing to daring but to offer her a glimpse of how amazing it could be when two lovers gave in to temptation.

Dinner had been a quite affair, both of us more interested in staring at one another than in the food we were eating. Candles blown out, we walked back down to the decking, a cool breeze hitting our faces as we stood overlooking the lake, my hands wrapped behind her, her head resting back into my chest. The stars had begun to light up the sky and I smiled at how romantically cliché this whole thing was. I felt her turn in my arms as her lips gently brushed past my cheek, her eyes meeting mine as I lowered my lips onto hers, the softness of them feeling wonderful against mine. I dared to deepen the kiss, diving my tongue next to hers, tasting her fully. Her hands found mine and she brought them up ever so slowly, until they were resting on her stomach. I pulled away, needing the night air to refuel my lungs. Her hair had become slightly unkempt, her curls straying away from one another. I moved to kiss her forehead, travelling down to kiss her noise then her lips, my head then moving to her collarbone, tasting the skin there. I sucked carefully, feeling her entire body arch into me as I moved to support her back, wrapping an arm around her waist. I searched her eyes for any panic, any signs of regrets before I made my next move, wanting to make sure she was fully comfortable; I didn't want her to get to upset. I lifted my hand to her cardigan, peeling the fabric gently away to reveal her lightly freckled shoulders.

'You're beautiful' I whispered before kissing her there. As I was about to turn my attention the other, her hand halted me and for a minute I regretted pushing her too far. However, she grabbed my hand and led me to-

'Em?' She was doing that thing again, biting down on her lip, making my knees go week as she climbed up over into the boat, lying back on the cushions I had placed there days prior. I was thankful I had cleaned the boat off, given it a lick of paint, cleared the unnecessary amount of clutter my parents had stored in it. The cushions had been Emma's ideas, figuring I could use them to stop my knees from aching as I painted. Her tank top had ridden ever so slightly and she caught me staring at her body, only this time, her face didn't show embarrassment; her eyes showed lust.

'Em, are you- I mean we can go as slowly as you want,' I didn't know what to expect; if anyone could have seen us you would have expected it was me that had never done this before, not Emma. She brought her lips to my ear whispering I love you and that she was ready for this. I began to attack her lips again, this time, my hands travelling under her tank top, my fingers trailing close to her bra. She complied with my movements, lifting her arms above her head so I could remove her top, her breasts looking breathtakingly beautiful as they sat on top of her chest, the thin purple lace covering them. I cupped her face once more, my hands in her hair as I kissed her more feverishly. I couldn't believe that this was about to happen, that I would be making love to the woman lay before me. My hand began to cup her left breast, feeling her breathing decrease as I lowered my lips down above the material. I then moved to her other breast repeating the same action, her hands running through my hair and that's when I felt it, my lips immediately leaving her skin as I looked at her, her eyes now widening with panic.

'What's wrong Will,' her eyes began to fill up as she tried to reach for her tank top, trying to get up but my hand stopped her, pulling her up into a sitting position so she was turned to face me. I grabbed her hand, kissing the palm before moving her fingertips over the piece of skin I had been kissing seconds ago. I felt her hand stop when she reached it, her body motionless as she stared into my eyes, the fear and the worry consuming her. She ran her hand again along the slight mound that rose from her breast, her tears flowing, my eyes too on the brink of tears. The lump felt unnatural, hard to the touch. I prayed it wasn't what I feared.

Emma got up before I did, slinging her top back over her head before almost running to the house. I called after her, having to jog up to her to stop her from running away from this,

'Emma. Emma, look at me. You can't ignore this; we need to take you to the hospital.'

'No, no I can't Will-'

'Look I know you're scared of hospitals, but you need to get this checked out, it's not going to go away'. I knew she knew I was right but still the dreaded fear in her eyes haunted me.

'My mum-' she started crying again and I just held her in the middle of the lawn, letting my tears fall too. I knew her mum had suffered from breast cancer; she had battled it for several of Emma's teenage years, eventually dying from the disease when Emma was only 21. I knew she was scared of the germs, the disease but what terrified her most was suffering the same fate her mother had, knowing how much pain and suffering she went through as the cancer spread through her body.

We had eventually been driven inside; the shower of rain had begun to fall from the sky causing us to seek solace in the living room. We had agreed to go to the hospital first thing in the morning. I had still wanted to go straight away but the pain in Emma's eyes caused me to agree with her. Tonight was going to be the longest night of my life.

**Emma's POV**

I was lay on this hard mattress, wondering what kind of people had lay on it before me. The walls were all covered in a stark white paint, this place being more and more alien to me as the seconds ticked by. Will had specifically made sure I was in a private room, not wanting to cause me any further worry. I was so glad he was here with me. The nurses wouldn't let him in my room for the time being, making him sit in the waiting room until they called him through. I rubbed my hands over my arms, my apprehension and nerves reaching an all time high. How did I not notice it? Had I really been that stupid, that oblivious? Had I actually seen it and blocked it out, the thought of suffering the same pain my mother bore becoming too much for me to handle? A nurse had come in, prompting me to sit up as she introduced herself and explaining what they had to do. First an biopsy. They needed to take a slight sample of the lump and send it away for further testing, confirming whether or not they would need to take a further look at the breast tissue which meant surgery. I shuddered at the thought. The nurse offered me a sympathetic smile as I asked her if she could get Will for me. Surely enough, 2 minutes later he was there by the door and I could feel more tears wanting to fall. He shut the door behind him and climbed onto the bed with me, removing his shoes and jacket beforehand. He wrapped me in his arms and I felt, just for a minute, things could be ok.


	8. Chapter 8

Again, I'm terribly sorry for the lack of update but hopefully you won't have to wait for the next chapter too long!

A big thankyou to everyone who is still reading and to those who have taken the time to review.

And speical thanks to G_reys has become my life_ for pointing out my error in the last chapter (:

hope you enjoy!

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**Will's POV**

_Crap._ I felt exactly like crap. I paced barefoot into the bathroom, stumbling and fumbling for the light switch in the dark. As the room was eventually consumed by light, I winced; squinting in the mirror slightly, pulling out a pack of aspirin, taking two with a glass of water. I had drank myself to a semi-sub-conscious state last night, blocking out the pain my heart was wrenching to let out. I turned, stubbing my toe on the side of the sink; various curse words seeping from my lips as my anger intensified resulting in the soap bar and tray being slammed against the wall, tiny shards of ceramic scattering on the floor, much like my heart. Tears spilled into the sink as I leaned onto it, my fingers turning white as I wept for her. I had wanted to give her some time to think, but now, three days later I was growing sick with panic and worry. _Why hadn't she been in contact? Was she ok?_ She had barely said a word to me as we exited the hospital, even fewer as we drove back along the grey stretch of road. I didn't know how she felt or if she had her results back yet._ God I hope she's ok._ I walked over to my phone that rested on the bedside cabinet, my toe still throbbing like my head and my heart; still no message back. I quickly typed another, hitting the send button as I tossed it haphazardly onto the unmade bed as I headed for a shower with one thought on my mind.

I had to see her.

**Emma's POV**

_'Emma please let me know you're ok. God I'm so worried. Please, just don't shut me out. I love you.'_

It had been a similar text that had woke me up this morning and another that beeped just as I filled the kettle with water, placing it onto the stand to boil through. I had still yet to return his calls or answer his texts to let him know how I was but I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone. _If he was so worried why isn't he here now?_ I convinced myself pathetically. I was behaving selfish and I knew it but I wasn't ready to face him now or face the truth. Maybe this way is for the best I lamely told myself. _You've always been on your own Emma; you don't need to hurt him anymore. _I lay my cell back down on the cold side of the breakfast bar, shutting it off, preparing myself for another day of cold, dark solitude.

I started with the windows; 2 squirts on Win-dex before taking a new cloth out of the sealed packet and wiping the windows clean, carefully securing that no streaks were present. Next, I moved to the kitchen, cleaning the stove as I placed the yellow rubber material over my hands, taking a scrubber and rubbing at the invisible left behind stains from spills that had yet to be spilt. Too carried away, I failed to hear the faint knocking at the door. When the fist pounded harder the next time, I jumped, spilling the bottle of pine disinfectant down my white blouse, the green liquid seeping over my skin, causing me almost to black out from the shock and the smell. I peeled back the door, unsurprised to find Will stood there, red-eyed and unshaven. I stood trembling half from the shock he was actually here and half from the liquid that had now travelled lower, spilling over onto my grey pants.

'Oh god, what happened?' As he softly spoke, I saw the worry in his eyes. His hand flew to my top and I immediately withdrew, my hands flying up to shield me as he stood, dejected and isolated.

'Please, just don't. I- I need to change'. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I panicked, running into my bedroom and shutting the door firmly shut, peeling back the blouse and removing my pants, putting them into the wicker wash basket. I turned the shower on as I waited for the water to warm, in the meantime, capturing my reflection in the mirror. My hand traced the yellow purpling bruise that had started to form on my breast, 5 pin like marks visible from the biopsy. More tears began to fall as I felt the risen lump and suddenly I didn't care about the mess, didn't care about the green liquid that was still dripping down my body; I just wanted to be alright.

**Will's POV**

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I used the roll of kitchen towel to wipe the floor clean. She had been in the bedroom for over half an hour, the faint sound of running water humming along in the background. I tidied as best I could before finding enough strength to knock on her bedroom door. No answer.

'Em?' I pushed the door cautiously, scared as to what state she may be in. The door to the bathroom was open just enough so I could she her paled legs against the white rug. Pushing the door fully open, I saw her huddled in the foetal position, fresh tears spilling over old ones as she lay practically naked on the floor, broken and fragile. I scooped her up in my arms, my tears also spilling as I sat myself down on the bed, pulling her up close onto my lap, rocking her back and forth, soothing her, rubbing the bare skin of her back, the strong smell of pine drifting through my nostrils.

'Ssh,' I whispered, my fingers running through a stray curl to the left of her cheek. Her eyes finally met mine; streaks of mascara staining her unblemished skin.

'No sorry, I can't do this'. She stammered, moving to stand up, her back towards me.

'Do what, Emma please talk to me'. I was scared beyond belief, wanting to comfort her and try and protect her. Instead I felt another cold rejection as I moved to place a hand on her shoulder, her jerk almost imminent as she wrapped her arms around herself, almost protecting herself from – me?

'I just can't' as she shook her head, the strands of red capturing the sun light that poured through the slits in the blinds.

'Emma, baby you're not making sense,' I had an urge to reach for a piece of hair that had caught in her lip but I scrunched my hand together in a ball, resisting, not wanting to cause her anymore unnecessary panic.

'Us.'

'What?' Had she really just said that? Was she really willing to throw _'Us'_ out already? I watched her blurrily through the tears straining in my eyes as she walked to her chest of draws, holding a framed picture between the gaps in her fingers.

'When mommy was sick, daddy tried his best to be strong, put on a brave face. When she died, he took it so hard, like a part of him had died with her. He looked so tired, so fragile, even when women would stop to talk to him he'd shy away, as if he was cheating on mum or something. I don't want that for you Will; I want you to be happy.'

'Emma'. It came out more of a gasp than an actual word, 'I know you're scared but we don't know for sure if it is Canc-' I still couldn't bring myself to say it, my mind and heart praying deeply she would never have to suffer through it, 'I love you, and-'

'Then please, if you love me, let me go. I don't think I can do this knowing you're hurting too.'

'No, you can't push me away like this; you're scared, afraid of letting someone get too close to you but I'm not leaving. I meant what I said, I'll always be here for you, I've let you go once and I'll be damned if I do it again.'

'Will, I can't promise you that; always. Will I could be dying'.

'No, no don't think like that, we don't know anything just yet, it could just be nothing'.

'Or something. The hospital sent me a letter asking if I could come in for an appointment in 2 weeks, they want to talk'.

'Then we'll go together'.

She stood shaking her head as her eyes widened. The fire that once burned brightly in them had been smothered, leaving in its place a void, a black hole. She looked vulnerable and it pained me to see her shutting down around me. Did she not trust me enough to help her, to be with her through this? Did she think I would freak out again, dump her when things got rough, unmanageable? I loved her so much and I vowed to myself that I would rebuild that fire in her eyes, even if it took me days, weeks, or months, I would build it back together, one log at a time until each flame roared as it should, in perfect unison. Because that was what she was to me; perfection.

'No, I'm coming with you, please Emma, don't do this, don't push me away, block me out, I can't stand it. Do you really think that 'letting me go' would stop me loving you, stop me worrying or caring? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'll always love you. Please, let me be here for you, please Emma.' I was aware of how needy, how clingy I sounded but I needed her to know how much she meant to me. She hadn't said anything, the silence almost deafening as I dared to move forward, closer towards her, 'Emma, please, talk to me'. Cautiously I moved my hand to her chin, bringing it up so I could see her face that had previously been cast in the shadows.

Goosebumps started to rise on her chest and arms so I removed my jacket, wrapping it over her shoulders, a murmured thanks muffled from her lips.

'Emma'. I moved my right hand to her left, entwining our fingers together and bringing it up to my heart, 'It's yours, it only beats for you.'

'I'm scared Will' she finally mustered, my heart breaking at the helplessness in her voice.

'I know, but we can get through this, together.'

'But what if-'

'No, no 'what if's', we'll take this one step at a time ok?' I felt her head slightly nod as she finally fell into my arms, the warm sense of almost relief coursing through my body as she moulded into me; a perfect fit. I ran my hand over the jacket covered shoulder, trailing my fingers across her collarbone causing her to jerk up. Without saying anything I moved my fingers over the slight lump in her breast, my lips following my fingertips as I placed soft kisses there, 'If I could heal you this way, I'd never stop kissing you', I heard a sigh of a laugh and I brought my hand to her cheek, cupping it slightly,

'I don't deserve someone like you Will' she whispered as my thumb aimlessly traced over her lips,

'I love you so much' I said softly, kissing her once, twice and three times on the lips, 'Just please, don't cut me out, I can't handle it, it would tear me apart'.

'I promise'.

**Emma's POV**

I climbed into the shower, the warm water beating down on my aching bones as I scrubbed my body, freeing it of the pine and the shame I felt for hurting him so badly. Why had I tried to push him away? The air filled with the sweet smell of cherry and vanilla as I massaged the shampoo into my hair, my body feeling lighter than it had done before.

Wrapping the white fluffy towel around my body, another one in my hand, I roughly dried my hair, running a squirt of curling gel through my locks to set them into place before walking through into the bedroom, to find Will still there, his gaze drawn to the picture I previously held.

'Is that your mum?'

'Yeah, it was 2 years after they had gotten married, she's was oh, 25 there'.

'She looks like you, well you look like her.'

'_Everybody used to say that'_. He sideward glanced at me, a half smile forming on his pursed lips. He slipped out of the room as I got changed, finding a pair of green and white striped shorts and a white tank top that covered my lump. Despite only being half 1 in the afternoon, I was completely shattered, the past few sleepless nights catching up on my body. I called Will through, the look of sheer exhaustion also resting firmly on his face as he yawned,

'You want to take a nap?' I questionably asked.

'I don't want to leave you'.

'No, I mean here, with me?' I saw his mouth form an 'O' shape, realising my question as he feverishly nodded, pulling back the white linen on the bedding, allowing me to crawl in as he followed suit, his arms curling around my waist as his head rested on my shoulder.

'I've missed this, just being able to hold you'.

'I've missed it too, it feels so long ago, since we were away and'

Silence filled the air, only the sound of faint breathing could be heard as we lay together for a while, holding each other. I felt scared and frightened. What if the tests were not ok? What did they want to discuss?

'Hey, what you thinking about?' He clearly sensed my tensed state of being, stoking the side of my waist beneath my top, a calming technique he had discovered that worked well to sooth me after several incidents involving bugs and insects.

'What if it is Cancer Will?' I felt his lips on my forehead, the softness filling me slightly with a warm sense of confidence.

'I can't guarantee it's not but if it is, if it's not, I'm not going anywhere'.

'I'm so sorry about before, about ignoring your calls, I just, I'm scared, terrified even, I've never had anyone like you in my life before, y'know, someone who cares about me other than my family, someone who loves me for me, I just thought I was protecting you, from how bad this could get'. He smiled sweetly whispering that he loved me as his arms tightened around me, my face settling into his chest, my body finally succumbing to the sleep it had craved for three days straight. I didn't know if it was Cancer, didn't know if the lump on my breast was malignant or not but I had Will and although he couldn't save me, or cure me, he could piece me back together, not with needles or with stitches, scalpels or pills but with his love and support and I felt ok, if only for a little while.


	9. Chapter 9

**This Chapter is rated 'M'.**

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**Emma's POV**

'Inconclusive'

My heart was racing as I took in the word. Did that mean they were no closer to finding out whether or not I had Cancer? I glanced nervously across at Will, his face like mine, confused and upset. I felt guilty for putting him through this, for keeping him up through sleepless nights, crying on his shoulder about my fears and worries. He had been my rock the past couple of weeks and knowing that it was still not over, still no confirmation as to what it was, I felt myself crumbling slowly, not just for me but for him, he deserved to know just as much as I did.

'So what does that mean then?_'_ Will questioned, his hand gripping tighter onto mine as he ran his thumb across my knuckles.

'Surgery' I said, almost without hesitating. I saw him swing his head round to me, a look of shock on his face as my face paled. I knew the routine but it didn't stop me being any less fearful about what was to come.

'Eventually, yes, if you look at the screen, you can see a cluster of dark shadows around the curve of your breast where the lump is and what we will need to do is to make a small incision to remove the lump and to extract the tissue for further examination so we can discover whether or not the cells are cancerous or not.'

I felt a slight nausea in the pit of my stomach at the mere thought of being cut open and prodded at.

'Is there no other way of finding out what it is; no other tests you can run?' I was thankful he was trying and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as my eyes started to brim with tears,

'I know it's a lot to take in but surgery is the only option I'm afraid and with your permission, we'd like to bring you in within the next couple of weeks if possible. I'll just give you two a moment.'

I saw her leave the room as I turned to Will, who cupped my face into his hands and kissed me, 'Hey, I know this is scary but the sooner we do this the sooner they can find out what's wrong.'

'We do this? I'm sorry but the last time I checked it was me having to go into surgery with people poking at me and touching me, cutting me up inside not 'we'.'

'Emma, you know what I meant, please don't turn on me, I know you're scared but this needs to be done, they need to take it out so they can find out what it is'.

'But I don't want this; I just want to forget about it', I couldn't bring myself to look at him, knowing the pain in his eyes would be enough to send me into a quivering wreck.

'Em, Emma look at me, this isn't going to go away,'

'But surgery and germs, I just don't think I can do it, even the thought is making me want to be sick, what am I going to be like when the time comes?'

'You have been so strong these past few weeks, no don't pull that face you have, god I can't even begin to imagine how scared you must be, but you can do this, we can do this together, I'm not leaving your side ok? I'll be with you when you go in and I'll be waiting for you when you get out'.

_'I'm just scared'_. The sound came out almost mute as the lump in my throat reached my voice box. I felt incredibly guilty for snapping at him, the feeling of losing all control becoming too much as I moved my hand to his, _'I'm sorry'_. The look he gave me showed that all had been forgiven..

'Right Miss Pillsbury, we'd like you to come in next week so we can run just a few routine tests on you, check your heart rate, your blood pressure, that sort of thing just to determine whether or not you'll be able to withstand the anaesthetic ok?' I could only nod wearily, 'Good, then if that's all clear, we would most probably be able to operate the following week'.

I looked across at Will who by the looks of things was taking in everything the nurse said. I started trembling as the nurse spoke, my whole body slowly breaking down part by part. With a stammer to my voice I finally spoke,

'That's fine'.

I could see Will in the corner of my eye smiling as his hand grasped further onto mine. I was still shaking as the nurse bid us good day, my mind racing with fear and anxiety. I could do this. I could do this.

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**Will's POV**

Like most nights, we spent the evening curled up together in each other arms, my arm occasionally draping across her stomach as we flicked aimlessly through the many array of channels on the television, nothing quite fitting to our mood. Tonight however I could feel her apprehension and I had to admit, my heart was racing a little faster than normal. She had gotten the go ahead which meant she was to go into surgery tomorrow afternoon and I could tell by the way she was fidgeting that it was resting heavily on her mind.

'Will?'

'Yes Em?' As she sat up I followed, resting my back against the arm rest, hitting the 'off' button on the remote.

'I just want to say thank you, for these past few weeks, I just don't know how I could have coped without you being here and supporting me, you've been amazing. Thank you, so, so much.'

I smiled, 'Hey it's ok' I grabbed her hand, 'what do you say about getting our pyjamas on and pop on a movie, I'll even let you pick!' I said with a wink. She looked across at me, all brown eyes and beauty as she bit down on her lip before shaking her head firmly,

'I was wondering if you wanted to do something else.' She shyly turned her head away from mine, running her hand along the hem of her skirt as I was left puzzled,

'Erm sure, whatever you want, we could I dunno play a game or-' I was cut off by her lips pressing gently onto mine, the softness feeling divine as she, not I went to deepen the kiss leaving me gasping for breath as we regrettably parted.

'Wow!' I couldn't help but emit a smirk as she coyly fingered at the collar of her blouse, her eyes overpowering with lust as my smile faded, realising now what 'something else' entailed.

'Emma, are you sure?' She kissed me softly on the forehead before moving her lips to my nose, kissing at the bridge before sitting up and smiling bashfully. 'I don't want you to feel like you have to do this just for me you know as a thank you or something, you know it doesn't matter to me, just being with you is more than enough Em.' I was well aware I was rambling but my heart couldn't contain a regular rhythm as I continued to process what was actually happening.

'I've been thinking about it for a while, I mean we came close to you know before,' I could see her hand trace the outline of her breast knowing fully what she meant, 'and I know it sounds strange but tomorrow, when I go in for sur-, I just want to know I've not regretted anything you know, I mean anything could happen tomorrow and'

'Emma, your gonna be ok tomorrow, you heard the nurse, it's a simple procedure'

'I know I know but things can change Will and well I just want to show you how much I love you'.

'You don't need to prove anything to me Emma; I know how much you love me',

'Please Will?' The look she shot me was so utterly heartbreaking I struggled to keep my emotions in check, 'Even before all of this happened I knew it was you I wanted my first time to be with, I mean I had resigned myself to living alone for the rest of my life but you-' she smiled, 'you showed me over these past few weeks that having that one special person in your life can make all the difference'.

'Oh Emma', I was openly crying now and I could feel her fingers trace the tears away, 'you know I love you so much'.

'I know, and I love you too. I want this, I want all of you'_._ The look she gave me right then and there would forever be engraved in my heart as I felt myself unwilling to deny her of anything.

She attentively licked her lips before signalling towards the bedroom we have grown accustomed to sharing as she held my hand in her delicate, dainty fingers, leading me towards the bed that rested to the left of the room.

'Will you just, erm, wait here, I, I have something I want to well- you'll see'. I could only nod as she rummaged through the draw, pulling out some sort of material and heading off into the bathroom. I sat on the bed anxiously, facing the bathroom door. We had been in this situation before but this time everything felt so different. We had both changed over the last half year, discovered who we are and how we are together. Before I could even continue with my thoughts the door swung open and she's stood there in a white baby doll nightie. I could hardly breath as I drank in the sight of her, she looked,

'Amazing'_._ It was all I could muster as she stepped forward, fiddling with the strap, finding a place on my knee, her legs straddling me on either sides.

'I look ok? I mean if it's too much I can-?'

'No, no you look beautiful'.

'I just want tonight to be about us Will, no talk of surgery or Cancer.' Tears had begun to build up in my eyes as she talked, the fear clearly marked on her face, 'I just, I love you.'

I could never get sick of hearing those three words escape her mouth so harmoniously. She was perfect, every bit about her was beautiful and I was so glad we had finally made it through everything. I let my hand trail down her face as I kiss her cheek, our tears mixing together, 'I love you too'.

The overwhelming feeling sat high in my heart as I tried to focus on breathing; her touch feeling so amazing, so scorching that at any moment I felt I could burst into flames. I tried to push past my anxiety, my worries and fears about tomorrow and concentrated on the present, how her lips curled, how her hair would flick to the side, how beautiful she was.

My thumbs began to graze at her stomach as she tugged at the bottom of my t-shirt, her fingers working melodious over my stomach as she discarded my top to the floor. I decided to move back onto the bed, my head resting on the array of pillows as I let her take control, her hands exploring my body, her lips kissing at my chest. I took a minute to pull her face to mine, smiling adoringly into those big brown eyes of hers as I kiss her on the lips, just needing to taste her, to feel her body close to mine. I kiss her shoulder as the strap slids neatly down her pale freckled arm, her hair further glimmering in the candle light. As I did, I felt her hands move towards the buckle of my belt. _God this was really happening_. She slid the denim down my legs, leaving me only in my boxers, my desire burning through the thin material. I pulled her back up to me, my hands sliding under the flimsy fabric of her underwear as I cupped her ass in my hands, running my hands up and down the soft skin.

**Emma's POV**

I felt a series of knots twist and untwist as Will's hands continued to rub up and down my bottom. I was beginning to grow nervous about what was to come but I knew I wanted it, knew how much my heart wanted Will; all of Will. I felt his hand reach for the top of the material, so I lifted my hands up to allow him to discard it with the other clothes that met the floor sometime ago. I felt his hand move to my breast, caressing it slowly and that's when I immediately froze causing him to retract his hand, looking up at me with a worried glance in his eye.

'I just, not there, I can't, not now anyway._'_ I felt pathetic as the tears began to slowly build.

'It's ok, I understand'.

'No, no it's not ok, I just, just want to forget that it's there and all I could think about when you, is when you touched me there the last time and-'

'Oh Em,' his voice sounded so soft as his fingers danced up and down my sides, his face offering such a wonderful and forgiving smile. He was truly beautiful, his soul, his body, god I never knew someone could be so perfect in every shape and form. 'Can I, you know touch you here?_' _His ran his fingers down the valley of my breasts as I compliantly nodded, shaking away the nearly fallen tears, his lips kissing down to my belly button, sucking at my hip bone which subconsciously made me groan, my face reddening with embarrassment as I hid it under the crook of his neck where I could feel his laugh vibrate through his body.

'Emma that was-'

'Embarrassing_' _I offered, my face coming up to meet his, my face showing no sign of returning to its natural colour anytime soon.

'Sexy I was going to say, definitely not embarrassing! Come here.'

As soon as I lay down he removed his boxers and I felt a growing splurge of anxiety muscle its way in through my veins. This was really happening.

'Do you have a condom?'

'Top draw'. I saw him route around, pulling the packet out of the draw as he swiftly rolled it on.

'Less messy' he added, making me slightly giggle, my hands reaching up to cover my mouth.

We lay there just kissing for several minutes, his desire for me resting at the core of my stomach, a wave of almost pride seeping through; had I really managed to turn him on so much? Suddenly I felt his hands trail at the edge of my panties, his eyes meeting mine as he mouthed; 'are you ready' between lazy kisses. I smiled, giving him the confirmation he needed as he finally pulled away the last remaining barrier between us.

'You're so beautiful. I plan on telling you every day just how beautiful you really are'. I began to blush again, this time running a hand through the soft waves of his hair as he smiled. 'So, so beautiful' he whispered as he stroked me where no man had ever gone before. It was a strange sensation, one that felt right. How had I gone so long without feeling his touch, feeling the tiny fireworks spark off inside my stomach? I pulled him up towards me, surprising myself with this new bout of confidence as my tongue duelled with his, letting him know I was finally ready. I felt his lips on my neck as I clutched onto his curls while he slid into me, muttering words of apology as my inhibitions and fears melted slowly away as he finally rested inside me.

'Come on baby' he panted as he continued to fill my ears with adoration and love, making me feel like no ever man had ever made me feel before. The pain had subsided a little while ago and now I felt a stir in the lower pit of my stomach, a feeling that was beginning to override all my senses as I clutched my arm around his neck, kissing him fiercely until I felt myself let go, finally falling into a state of pure bliss as he joined me, both of us holding onto one another as our breathing decreased, our heads falling back onto the pillows.

'How do you feel?' he whispered as he rolled over to face me, our noses slightly rubbing together as his hands got lost in my hair. I could only smile as I rested my hand on his shoulder, stealing another kiss from those luscious lips,

'That good ey?_'_ he winked, causing me blush, 'God you're so perfect.'

I snuggled up closer, the slight hairs on his chest tickling my chin as his arms wrapped protectively round my body, the comforter surrounding us as we hid away from the cold and the rest of the world. I could have stayed like this forever, cocooned in his arms while he sang sweetly to me the song I had grown to love,

_'I will love you baby, Always ..._

_And I'll be there forever and a day, Always ... '_

And with it, I drifted off in his arms remembering tonight and the love we shared together, not thinking about tomorrow.

* * *

So there you go Chapter 9! Next chapter will be the operation and mainly from Will's POV.

I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can but I'm not too sure when that will be yet!

I'm not a doctor so I apologise for any mistakes that I've made in this chapter.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading!


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